ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
