I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
