I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
