Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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