i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
