and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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