You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
