That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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