idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
