I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
