"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
