Can Purell be used as lube?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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