I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
