you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
