So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
