I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
