I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
