If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
