I wanna passion pit in your ass
I looked at my own cervix.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
