so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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