WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
