If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
