Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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