His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
