And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
