Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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