i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
