You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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