My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
