I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
