Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
