Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
