when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
