oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
