Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
