the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize
