White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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