Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
