4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is wine microwaveable?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
