you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
