forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Semen is not good for contacts.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
