You're so nebulous sometimes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
