I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
