u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
