Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
