If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
