when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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