OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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