Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
