did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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