just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
