Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it because I queefed?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
