Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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