Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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