You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
